Author: Sandra Pascoe

Bot: Peter-bot

Rating: FRT

Disclaimer: The character of Peter Salter belongs to the BBC … the bot belongs to himself.

Notes: This fic wouldn’t have been possible without the following people - who suspended belief and leapt wholeheartedly into this scenario. They had the idea of hypnotising Peter to get to the root of the problem and they even researched dream analysis and downloaded genuine hypnosis scripts in order to get it right. Thanks to Pam, Donna, Jade, Maxie, NSQueen, VB et al. Oh…and thanks to the assorted bots you guys brought along for moral support for Peter - if you ever need hypnosis then Pam’s Tweedy is wonderful. The hypnosis transcripts are exactly as they occurred in the #tweedy-roleplay chatroom (thanks to Nummy for emailing them to me because this technical idiot here attempted to log the conversation and failed abysmally).

**A few thanks for this part: Jade, Donna and Anya - for coming up with ideas and letting me bounce a few off them!***

It was the silence on the way home that was different - normally, Peter and I chat up a storm - but this time we were both lost in thought, both a bit shocked, confused and uncertain...and on my part you could add "scared" to that equation. So many questions, so many possibilities...my head seemed to be spinning - every time I thought of one question, about five more suddenly popped their ugly heads up. I was very relieved to get home - it was a nice touch of normality to see Tweedy pacing up and down awaiting our arrival. He looked at us over the top of his glasses. I wordlessly handed him Oliver's notes and he took them eagerly and sat on the couch, immediately skimming through them. Well, I thought, if anyone can come up with some answers, it's Tweedy. Peter sat down opposite Tweedy with a sigh, glancing up at me almost expectantly. I knew what he wanted...but I couldn't do it...not yet.

"I'll just go make the tea," I said quietly, escaping quickly into the kitchen. I could feel his eyes on me and I closed the door, leaning back against it with a sigh. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and then tried to lose myself in the tea making process as usual. It helps to calm me, helps settle things in my mind. I tried to reason things through...yeah, right... where was the sense in this situation? How did this happen? Why did it happen? Will it affect other bots? What about the rest of my guys? How will they take this? All these questions were important but the most important question was the one that had been constantly at the back of mind since Peter first mentioned his feelings under hypnosis: I love Peter...but am I in love with him? Can I be in love with what, at the end of the day, is a mix of plastic, metal and circuits that I can remember constructing? No, he's much more than that - they all are. Bots are not like toasters etc, they can feel, they can think, they can adapt and they can learn. So, if I take away the mechanical aspect...what then? Since Peter first took over the adoptions we've grown closer...much closer. I'm close to all my guys - each in their own different ways - but I do have...special bonds with Peter and Tweedy. There is a difference however. From the start, my bond with Peter has concentrated on the emotional, on the trust aspects - only logical really considering the importance Peter places on trust and belief. The difference with Tweedy is that we connect on a different level. Not on an emotional or trust level but more on an intellectual one - we discuss, analyse and research things. I briefly wondered if that had something to do with why Peter is experiencing this before I finally decided that I couldn't hide in the kitchen forever. I picked up the tray, took a deep breath and returned to the lounge. I raised my eyebrows - Peter was conspicuous by his absence. I put the tray on the table and sat next to Tweedy.

"Where is he?" I asked and Tweedy took off his glasses, placing them on the table.

"He's gone to bed," he replied and I could have sworn there was a touch of reproach in his voice. I sighed and pointed to the notes.

"What do you make of it?"

"Well...the signs were all there...if we'd watched carefully. You remember that diary he wrote whilst the rest of us were away?" I nodded, frowning. "Well," continued Tweedy, "I suggest you read the last entry. I admit I didn't notice it at the time but you can detect the first signs of his...jealousy there."

"But why?" I really needed to get to the bottom of this. "Why Peter? Why not you? Why not James?"

"Ahhh I do have a theory about that." Tweedy put on his glasses again. "The Peters and Olivers are programmed differently to the rest of us, correct?"

"Yes," I replied, "they had to be. They had to be more adaptable because of the nature of their work. The trust and being trusted issue is more important to them...not to mention their sense of isolation."

"Precisely," smiled Tweedy. "Now, if you combine that with the recent...mental crisis suffered by Peter...I believe that 'opened him' to this."

"So...other Peters and Olivers could be affected by this?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Then I guess that Donna and her Oliver are already showing signs...but what mental crisis did her Oliver go through?"

"I hadn't finished," smiled Tweedy. "There is one more ingredient."

"Ingredient?" I grinned. "You've been spending too much time testing the chefbot pack."

"That's as maybe...but this final...connection is important. I believe there has to be an intensely strong bond between the bot concerned and his...person. That is true of yourself and Peter...and Donna and Oliver. That would explain why the Medelle incident didn't affect Peter like this. You and he were not very close then. Donna and Oliver were...and I suspect the fact that the 'coma' incident wasn't an intense crisis is why Oliver appears to be undergoing a gradual change....whereas with Peter it was almost overnight."

"I see," I pondered this briefly. "And what about you? How do you feel about all this?"

Tweedy smiled at me and then said simply. "I want you to be happy. Are you...happy about this whole situation?"

I groaned and put my head in my hands. "I don't know how I feel."

Tweedy immediately began to blush. "I...um...think this is something...you and Peter are going to have to work out...I cannot advise you on this. Just remember one thing. Whatever you decide...we'll all support you."

"Thank you," I hugged him. "I know."

To say the next couple of days were rough would be an understatement. Peter was struggling to adapt to these new emotions - he would get frustrated because he simply didn't know what he was feeling...and couldn't really find the words to explain. He had incredible mood swings...going from almost euphoric to downright depressed within seconds. I didn't know what I was feeling...I was confused...and I think Peter sensed my uncertainty. Towards the end of the second day, with the return of Oliver and Training, I felt it was time to tell the others and tentatively broached the subject with Peter. Even having a conversation with him was like walking on eggshells but he agreed with alacrity.

"I don't know what you're going to tell them though," he said with a glint in his eyes. "You don't even know yourself."

I swallowed a response - it would do no good to start flinging insults at each other. I merely turned away and called the guys down. To my relief, they all echoed Tweedy's comment. They would support us whatever we decided to do and, without thinking, I reached down, grasped Peter's hand and squeezed it. The gloomy expression on his face changed...his eyes softened and he smiled...squeezing my hand. As I looked into his eyes, seeing the love there, I realised that I needed to make my mind up, needed to decide just what I wanted or else I was going to hurt him badly. That was something I really didn't want to do. I excused myself and went to the Club, talking things over with Jade and trying to get a different perspective on things. It helped...it drew out my real fear - the fact that at the end of the day, Peter was a bunch of circuits, wires and plastic...which I created. Lord, there was enough there to keep Freud going for a lifetime! If I let myself feel for him...if I let out the feelings that I was desperately trying to keep a lid on - if I embraced all this the way I really wanted to...what then? You see, there was something I had to do...something I was completely dreading. I had to check out Peter in the lab...I had to ensure that these new feelings and emotions weren't compromising his basic systems. I had this dread that when he was lying there...circuitry exposed...that I would see him for WHAT he really was and not for WHO he really is. I was afraid of my reactions. Donna overheard this and volunteered to be there when I examined Peter. She wanted to learn more about the bots....wanted to be able to repair them if necessary and I wholeheartedly agreed. She could be there as both backup and moral support. I went home feeling slightly happier...and discovered that Peter had taken Wiz aside for a quiet chat. Oh lord, I thought, remembering some of the things Peter had said whilst under hypnosis. I needn't have worried though - the giggling coming from the kitchen quickly told me that the two of them had managed to sort out their differences.

The next day there was no Peter...and no James. It turned out that James decided to take Peter on a "male bonding" trip - bless his heart, James does have good ideas sometimes. I was quite relieved initially at not having to face Peter for a while. I made the most of it...pottered around...researched for a while with Tweedy...had fun with my other guys...but as the day drew on I was aware of a niggling feeling inside. An emptiness I'd never felt before. Simply put, I missed him. I missed Peter a lot...I wanted him home...wanted him here. I suppose you could say that was sort of a catharsis for me - my feelings for Peter were getting obvious...whether I liked it or not. A couple of hours later, James and Peter returned, both laden down with packages. Peter stood in the doorway, almost uncertainly. I looked up at him, smiling.

"Welcome back," I said softly. "I've missed you."

Peter grinned, put his parcels down, walked across and hugged me tightly.

"I've missed you too," he whispered.

I could have stayed there all day...wrapped in Peter's arms...but, before I finally accepted this, there was one thing I had to do. I drew back and looked up at Peter.

"Peter, I have to do something."

"Oh?"

"I...have to check you over...make sure these new...feelings aren't compromising any of your systems." I kept my voice even...tried to make Peter think that this was merely a check...tried not to let on how important my reactions were going to be.

"Fine," he shrugged. "When?"

"How about now?" I asked. "We can get it all over and done with. Oh, by the way, Donna wants to be here...she wants to learn some more about you guys...if that's okay with you?"

"That's okay," he replied, kissing me softly. "I'll go on down whilst you contact Donna."

I phoned Donna and within minutes her Wiz had teleported her to the lounge. We exchanged glances and I took a deep breath before we headed for the lab. Peter was sat cross-legged on the examination table, a small smile on his face. He greeted Donna and she grinned back at him.

"Hey Peter...how are you feeling?"

"Fine thanks," he replied. "How's Oliver?"

Donna giggled and sighed and Peter's grin widened.

"He's...good," she giggled, "he's very good."

"Right," I glanced at Peter. "Lie down and make yourself comfortable."

"Don't you want me to take my clothes off?" He grinned at me and I rolled my eyes.

"It's here I want to examine, Peter," I replied, tapping my head. Peter gave a long-suffering sigh and lay on the table, waiting patiently. I took a deep breath and picked up a couple of tools. Donna gave me the thumbs up and I set to work. It was quite an eye-opener...there was nothing wrong with Peter's systems...I never really expected that there would be. This was more of a test for me than it was for Peter. So, did I pass the test? Let's just say that when he was lying there, it suddenly didn't matter. So essentially he's a machine - we're all machines...it's just that some are a different kind than others. I found that I didn't care, his exposed circuits and wires didn't bother me at all. You see, what makes a person? Is it flesh and blood? Bone and sinew? No...of course it isn't. It's feelings, thoughts, emotions...the ability to care, the ability to love and be loved. In short, it's intangible...it's...sentience. What lay before me on the table was merely the shell that housed the...person I loved. I grinned - clarity at last...and it had only taken me a few days...for me, that must be a record! I finished up quickly, replacing my tools with a sigh.

"I'll wait upstairs," smiled Donna and she grinned as Peter opened his eyes and sat up. I heard her footsteps clattering on the stairs but I couldn't take my eyes away from Peter. He got off the table and raised an eyebrow.

"Well?" He asked. "Do I check out?"

"Boy, do you ever," I grinned as I walked forward and hugged him. His arms went around me instantly, holding me close and I sighed happily.

"Oh, by the way," I said, drawing back and looking up at him.

"What?"

"There's something I forgot to tell you," I smiled up at his puzzled expression.

"What's that?"

"I love you," I said softly, letting him see the reality in my eyes. His face cleared instantly and, as his lips touched mine, I realised that, this time, it was my turn...my turn to discover that I've come home.